The Least Likely Person to Stalk Quatre
by Lady Syaoran1
Summary: hehehe . . . what would happen if quatre went to heero for advice then refused it?
1. The beginning

The Least Likely Person to Stalk Quatre  
  
All disclaimers apply, yadi yadi yada. This story starts at the  
  
G-Boys' mansion.  
  
Chapter 1  
  
"Heero? Can I talk to you?" Quatre called through Heero's door.  
  
Heero opened the door wearing only a towel.  
  
"Aah! Heero! Put some clothes on!" Quatre shrieked, covering his eyes and turning around to face the other side of the hall.  
  
"Fine," Heero sighed, "but you're taking me out of my comfort zone."  
  
Quatre stepped backwards into the room. "Go - put - on - clothes - NOW!" he said through gritted teeth.  
  
"I'm going', I'm going'," Heero said, his voice drifting farther and farther away. A few minutes later, Heero came back dressed. 'So, whaddya wanna ask me?"  
  
"There's this girl in one of my courses and I need some advice on how to get her to like me."  
  
"Ooh . . . what's her name?" Heero asked.  
  
"Ivy," Quatre replied.  
  
Heero's eyes got that look in them.  
  
"Oh no," Quatre warned, "You stay away from her!"  
  
"Aww!" Heero pouted. "You're taking me out of my other comfort zone!" 


	2. As the battle continues

Chapter 2  
  
A day later . . .  
  
"Uh, Ivy?" Quatre asked quietly.  
  
Her red hair bounced as bright green eyes and a sweet smile fixated on Quatre. "Yes, Quatre?"  
  
Quatre swallowed hard. "I was - uh - wondering if you wanted to go to a movie with me Friday?" he asked uncertainly.  
  
The smile widened. "That's so sweet!" Ivy exclaimed. "I'd love to." Before walking away, ivy planted a soft kiss on his cheek. "By the way, Quatre - I like you just the way you are."  
  
*  
  
"What do you mean, you don't want my help!" Heero yelled furiously, stomping his feet.  
  
"Ivy likes me just the way I am!" Quatre shouted defiantly.  
  
"She's just saying that! All girls do!" Heero scoffed.  
  
"Oh yeah? Well, she didn't say it in that pathetic little voice Relena always does!"  
  
"Damn! I mean - what voice?"  
  
Quatre sighed. "This is hopeless. I gotta go get ready fro my date." Quatre slammed the door to Heero's room.  
  
Heero ground his teeth together. "That's it Winner. Ivy is mine, whether you like it or not!" an evil, psychopathic laugh filled the mansion, making the dog next door howl.  
  
*  
  
Heero's car pulled up in front of Chez Tomate (don't ask where I got the name) just in time to see Ivy and Quatre walk in.  
  
"Excellent," Heero thought, "Winner's right on time." A huge jolt filled the car. "BEEP!" a car horn sounded loudly behind Heero's car, followed by a siren. "SHIT!"  
  
*  
  
"Sir, that'll be a three hundred dollar fine," the police officer said to Heero, "for not paying attention to the road, sitting in the middle of the parking lot and acting like a stalker."  
  
"I can't help it! That was my daughter up there! I'm just making sure she's okay," Heero lied.  
  
The officer stared at Heero. "Aren't you a little young to be a dad?"  
  
"Ever heard of plastic surgery? I'm 36!" Heero snapped. "I had her when I was 16."  
  
The officer stared at him carefully. "Can I ask you one more thing?"  
  
Whatever."  
  
"Are you sure you're a man? I mean, having a kid and all . . ."  
  
"Aah! Me? An onna like Relena?" *shudder*  
  
*  
  
"The movie and dinner was great, Quatre," Ivy told Quatre. "Thank you."  
  
Quatre blushed. "I had a great time too."  
  
Ivy turned to Quatre after locking her apartment door. "By the way, Qua- chan, I'm free Saturday next week. Would you like to do this again?" she asked.  
  
"That'd be a real treat. I'll pick you up at seven, okay?" Once ivy had agreed and Quatre had walked away, a snicker came from the potted plant down the hall. "Now, to get a job at Chez Tomate . . ."  
  
*  
  
"This way please," Heero said, disguising his voice. In front of him were a love struck couple - Ivy and Quatre. Heero was safe from being recognized because Ivy and Quatre were too involved with themselves. Once ivy and Quatre had sat down, Heero took their order.  
  
"Two large fettuccini Alfredo's, a basket of garlic bread and two iced teas," quatre answered for both of them. He smiled at Ivy. "Our usual."  
  
Ivy smiled back.  
  
"I will be back in but a moment," Heero said with a phony French accent. He snickered as he walked away. 'Oh, the two of them are in for a little surprise.  
  
In the kitchen, Heero grabbed the ice teas. He poured a VERY spicy clear substance in one, soon to be Quatre's drink. The pasta and bread were ready in a moment, and Heero mixed the same substance in with one of the pastas. When he brought the food and drink to the table, ivy was laughing at something Quatre had said. Quatre was smiling.  
  
"Your or - dair," Heero said with his accent. "Enjoy." He placed the spiked drink and pasta in front of Quatre, gave Ivy hers with an innocent smile and set the garlic bread in the middle of the table. Heero left and checked the tables nearby. He hung around long enough to see Quatre's reaction. Quatre's face turned bright red and he instantly reached for his ice tea, making the water pitcher teeter. As soon as he took a drink, the spiciness intensified and his hand whipped back, dropping his ice tea. The water pitcher fell on its side, spilling its contents and completely soaking Ivy. She stood up shocked, as the water seeped through her dress to her skin. Quatre stood up as well, still red form both heat and embarrassment. He was apologizing like mad and called for a towel. Heero found the whole scene hilarious and began to cackle softly. Without noticing, his laughter became louder and he was practically bawling when he made his way into the kitchen. Less than five minutes later, he emerged only to find the restaurant quiet. Quatre and ivy had left. He slammed the tray he had been carrying on a nearby table and stormed out of the restaurant to see Quatre's car pulling away. Heero ran to his own and hopped in, peeling out of the parking lot as fast as possible. He followed Quatre's car to Ivy's apartment building where both got out and went up to Ivy's room on the first floor. For the next three hours Heero tried desperately to see what was going on inside but had no luck. All he got out of it were some cuts, scrapes and bruises. When Quatre had hugged Ivy outside the building and left, Heero was in his car, sprawled out in pain. He slowly sat upright and pulled away. When he arrived at the mansion, he went straight to his room and crashed on his bed. 


	3. Happily Ever After

Chapter 3  
  
Heero had temporary trauma and remained in bed for the next two weeks. Duo came every day from sun up to sun down to care for him. After the two weeks, Heero finally emerged from his room. He made his way down to the gigantic living room where Trowa, Quatre, Duo and Wufei were sitting. Heero sat down on the loveseat *snicker* next to duo *double snicker*. Quatre smiled and cheerfully said, "Good to see you up, Heero."  
  
Heero grinned. "I'm feeling much better."  
  
"Listen, I'm sorry about the whole Ivy thing. We talked it over and decided it would be best if we just stayed friends, so she's free," Quatre apologized.  
  
"No, my bad," Heero said, "sorry I stalked you. No hard feeling, right? Besides, I can forget about Ivy. Now I have duo." He reached for Duo's hand. Duo held it and the two smiled at each other.  
  
It took awhile for that to register in Quatre, Wufei and Trowa's minds, but when it did, Quatre rigidly stood up.  
  
"I'm gonna go puke now." Quatre stiffly walked out of the room. Wufei and Trowa stood up as well.  
  
"I'll go help him," Wufei stated flatly.  
  
"I think I hear my mother calling - I mean, the clock ticking - I mean, the microwave dinging - ah hell, I'm just leaving," Trowa told them. He and Wufei stiffly filed out of the room one by one. Heero and Duo shrugged and headed up to Duo's room. After all, it's the one with the mini hot tub! ^________^  
  
So, how was it? Funny? Stupid? No flames please. Anyways, peeps, give me story ideas1 Thanx!  
  
Lady S. 


End file.
